I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The Olympian is in my bed
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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