I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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