I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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