nut hugger
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
