I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
