i jhust puked up my retainher.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
