They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
