therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
