One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Buhtt sex?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
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