Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
