saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
