Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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