I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
