obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
