I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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