Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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