I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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