when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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