I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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