Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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