wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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