we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
