This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she smelled like a LAN party
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
