Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
