Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
