Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
