I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
