I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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