On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
