Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
