he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
