I think I died a long time ago.
My pussy is not your playground.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I want to be your penis for a week.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
