is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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