Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
