i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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