elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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