I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We have started to decorate penises.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
