I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
