He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
