I smell stomach acid.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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