i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
