YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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