So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
