if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
