Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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