Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
