Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
