Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
