time to smoke my breakfast
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
