I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
