Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
