North Korea, Best Korea!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
